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SOLC Day 2

I have noticed some things as a new member of this group called "mothers." One thing that I have noticed is the way that lovely middle class highly educated politically correct mothers do this thing where they say, "no judgment," and then proceed to mercilessly judge and condemn whatever comes next out of their mouths. It reminds me of being in second grade, when your friend would say, "no offense, but..." and then say something incredibly offensive. But because it was framed with the opener "no offense," you were not allowed to get insulted. Heaven forbid you cried at such a statement! Your friend meant no offense!

Anyway.

My husband and I recently took our daughter to a tot's birthday party. At tot birthday parties, tots don't really play with each other. They take toys away from each other, or play next to each other without acknowledging their "friend's" presence, or they cry. Tot birthday parties are not really for tots. They are for the parents of the tots. We had our tot's birthday party at a brewery.

Anyway.

We began talking to a mother at the party. She told us about a car trip that she had taken with her tots. She told us about all the things she did to entertain her tots during the long drive. She told us that she had to do all these things because she "was not ready to give them an iPad." No judgment of course. Some people are fine with giving their kid an iPad to keep them quiet. Just not her.

We exchanged glances. We have an iPad specifically for the purpose of keeping our tot quiet on airplanes. We are iPad parents.

For a few seconds, possible responses swirled around my mind. I considered saying something like, "yeah, that would be terrible, I don't know how those people can live with themselves!" which my husband would find hilarious...but then I didn't want to make fun of this nice mother I had just met. The thought of admitting that we are, in fact, iPad parents also crossed my mind. Scenes of fellow airplane passengers complimenting us on our incredible quiet tot were bubbling up, about to spill out of my mouth. Wouldn't it be so satisfying to flip the judgment back on her, by showing off what a well-behaved airplane tot we have? But then I also didn't want to be mean to this nice mother I had just met.

Instead, I turned to my tot and said, "Poppy, share the toy!"

Comments

  1. Stacey ShubitzMarch 2, 2020 at 11:26 AM

    I think your response was perfect. Rather than risking the mom, you did the next most appropriate thing. (However, we both know how the toy sharing went, right?)

    There is a lot of judgment when you’re a new parent. I feel as though it goes away a little bit as the kids get older. (Mine are three and nine now.) It’s always there, but it’s a little less in-your-face.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Betsy HubbardMarch 2, 2020 at 5:28 PM

    This made me giggle all through my reading of it. I could practically hear your controlled grin and fixed eyes resisting the urge to roll them. Sounds like your restraint worked well and you made the best choice possible. Kids are a great buffer at gatherings like these--oops, gotta go rescue my tot!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Diane AndersonMarch 2, 2020 at 5:54 PM

    Yep, yours is the tot I’d want to share a flight with!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMarch 2, 2020 at 7:28 PM

    Strong voice pulsing all through this slice. "No judgment" bit reminded me of someone I know who uses the phrase "just kidding" to signal when she really means business and isn't kidding at all :o

    ReplyDelete
  5. BethMooreSChoolMarch 3, 2020 at 5:27 AM

    I love the way you crafted this post! "Anyway." This story makes me think of all the many, many things I said I would never do as a parent but have loooong since given in on! Hahaha!

    ReplyDelete

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