Skip to main content

The worst day of my life brought me an angel - SOLC Day 18

Why are there men's shoes outside our door? 

I saw them as I climbed up the stairs to our unit. I felt my stomach tighten as I reached the door. I heard two adult voices as I reached for the doorknob. 

I opened the door, and stepped into a nightmare. 

The first thing I saw was my five month old daughter's high chair. It was moved from its spot at the dinner table. It was now sitting directly in front of the TV, a foot away from the screen. My daughter was not in the highchair, but who knows how long she sat there. My baby who loves babbling and gazing into my eyes as I sing to her. My stomach turned into a ball of lead. 

I turned my gaze to the two adults who were standing, deer-in-the-headlights, by the dinner table. One of them was supposed to be there, entrusted with the care of my baby. The other was her boyfriend. The ball of lead moved up towards my heart. 

I couldn't even hear whatever she/they said to me. All I said was,

"Where is Poppy?"

I didn't wait for an answer. I just turned away and walked to her room. Her caregiver followed me. 

As I walked into Poppy's room, the ball of lead transformed into a ball of fire. My five month old baby was in her crib, lying facedown (a SIDS risk), with a blanket bunched up around her head (also a SIDS risk). I flew to her crib and gently turned her over onto her back. 

Still breathing. Thank God.  

Her caregiver was right behind me. "She rolled over," she insisted, because "Back-to-Sleep" for infants has been a thing since the late 90's. And because we've told her how important it is that she adhere to those guidelines. And because she knew I was about to fire her.

Poppy is not able to roll yet. 

I thought I came home during my lunch break because I forgot my pumping equipment at home. But now I realize that I was sent home to protect my child. 

Despite the trauma that this caused my husband and I, we now have a new member of the family. We found a nanny who loves Poppy like she's her own child. Moms and babysitters have come up to my husband and me at the playground to tell us that they know Poppy, and want to tell us how amazing her nanny is. She brings her ukulele and a book of songs to our house so she can jam with our daughter. She has taught her baby sign language, and - as I discovered during this COVID-19 isolation - several letters and numbers! I know that when she walks through our door in the morning and when Poppy runs up to give her a hug, that we found an angel to protect our child.   

Comments

  1. SallyMarch 18, 2020 at 6:26 AM

    Your post describes the tension so well. Seeing the men's shoes at the beginning is a great clue to keep the reader reading. So glad your story has a happy ending. I bet your nanny would like to see this story, too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownMarch 18, 2020 at 10:36 AM

    Nightmare, indeed. Your slice adds unspeakable intensity to the cliche that good help is hard to find. Fortunately, as your new nanny attests, not *too* hard.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Diane AndersonMarch 18, 2020 at 7:52 PM

    A very scary nightmare. Such a relief to get to the happy ending!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Snapshot of a morning commute - SOLC Day 4

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up, and before any other thought crosses your drowsy mind, you think to yourself, 'huh, how can I make this morning difficult for my fellow human beings?' No? Me neither. But apparently, the guy riding his bike in the middle of the lane did!  (Side note: my husband and I carpool. He is driving, I did not take this photograph from behind the wheel!)
7 comments
Read more

The Last Supper, Part 1 - SOLC Day 15

Last night, my husband and I went out for a date. I know, we’re meant to be socially distancing. But we needed a last hurrah as a couple before we began our isolation with a toddler in a tiny condo. Thank GOD we went on a date! It turned out to be a dream come true! Our night began at a neighborhood sushi joint, small, BYOB. We went because it’s BYOB and we’re poor, but what we realized is that it is a neighborhood destination that we somehow didn’t know about(?!?!). The reason why it’s a destination is Sushi Mike. Sushi Mike is the Japanese-American sushi version of the character who plays the mafia boss’ favorite chef. He is PURE GOLD. His laughter - a shocking cackle- cuts through the sound of chatter and ambient music the way his chef’s knife slices through ahi tuna. Left and right, customers ask their servers to send over a glass of wine for Sushi Mike. It is well deserved. Sushi Mike’s specialty is making special rolls for his guests. Servers ask about allergies and spic
7 comments
Read more

SOLC Day 1

So, last weekend I went to a Pamper Party. A Pamper Party is when your friend, who decided to become a Mary Kay consultant, invites people over to drink wine and buy things. The morning of the Pamper Party, I said to my husband, "I will not buy ANYTHING." The afternoon of the Pamper Party, I said to my mother and sister over FaceTime, "I will not buy ANYTHING." I'm sure you can see where this is going. 7:30PM rolls around. My toddler daughter is asleep in her crib bathed in the soft glow of her nightlight and the steady sound of her white noise machine. My husband is sprawled on the couch, bathed in the blue lights of the television and his laptop, both of which are tuned into different sporting events. I am walking downstairs to my friend's unit.  I am the second to arrive. The wine is being opened. Introductions are made. When the fourth and final mother (we are all mothers) arrives, we go down to the basement. Let the pampering begin. We are
8 comments
Read more