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The worst day of my life brought me an angel - SOLC Day 18

Why are there men's shoes outside our door? 

I saw them as I climbed up the stairs to our unit. I felt my stomach tighten as I reached the door. I heard two adult voices as I reached for the doorknob. 

I opened the door, and stepped into a nightmare. 

The first thing I saw was my five month old daughter's high chair. It was moved from its spot at the dinner table. It was now sitting directly in front of the TV, a foot away from the screen. My daughter was not in the highchair, but who knows how long she sat there. My baby who loves babbling and gazing into my eyes as I sing to her. My stomach turned into a ball of lead. 

I turned my gaze to the two adults who were standing, deer-in-the-headlights, by the dinner table. One of them was supposed to be there, entrusted with the care of my baby. The other was her boyfriend. The ball of lead moved up towards my heart. 

I couldn't even hear whatever she/they said to me. All I said was,

"Where is Poppy?"

I didn't wait for an answer. I just turned away and walked to her room. Her caregiver followed me. 

As I walked into Poppy's room, the ball of lead transformed into a ball of fire. My five month old baby was in her crib, lying facedown (a SIDS risk), with a blanket bunched up around her head (also a SIDS risk). I flew to her crib and gently turned her over onto her back. 

Still breathing. Thank God.  

Her caregiver was right behind me. "She rolled over," she insisted, because "Back-to-Sleep" for infants has been a thing since the late 90's. And because we've told her how important it is that she adhere to those guidelines. And because she knew I was about to fire her.

Poppy is not able to roll yet. 

I thought I came home during my lunch break because I forgot my pumping equipment at home. But now I realize that I was sent home to protect my child. 

Despite the trauma that this caused my husband and I, we now have a new member of the family. We found a nanny who loves Poppy like she's her own child. Moms and babysitters have come up to my husband and me at the playground to tell us that they know Poppy, and want to tell us how amazing her nanny is. She brings her ukulele and a book of songs to our house so she can jam with our daughter. She has taught her baby sign language, and - as I discovered during this COVID-19 isolation - several letters and numbers! I know that when she walks through our door in the morning and when Poppy runs up to give her a hug, that we found an angel to protect our child.   

Comments

  1. SallyMarch 18, 2020 at 6:26 AM

    Your post describes the tension so well. Seeing the men's shoes at the beginning is a great clue to keep the reader reading. So glad your story has a happy ending. I bet your nanny would like to see this story, too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 18, 2020 at 10:36 AM

    Nightmare, indeed. Your slice adds unspeakable intensity to the cliche that good help is hard to find. Fortunately, as your new nanny attests, not *too* hard.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Diane AndersonMarch 18, 2020 at 7:52 PM

    A very scary nightmare. Such a relief to get to the happy ending!

    ReplyDelete

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